Sooooooo JJ Watt is a big weirdo creep. Proposing to a six year old girl like its no big deal. I keep reading about how sweet of prince he is by doing this. Huh? What? Dude should be locked up in pound me in the ass prison for this. I feel like I am taking crazy pills.
PS – just kidding, I get JJ. My wife isn’t born yet.
Yahoo – The New York Post has revealed that Hall of Fame quarterback Dan Marino fathered a child in 2005 with a then-production assistant at CBS.
Dan Marino is such a good family man he needed a second one to prove how good of a father he is. What is that old saying? Don’t shit where you bang (Great use of the you understood as the subject Tom, thanks 4th grade english teacher). Yeah I think thats how the saying goes. I mean this is Day 1 stuff Dan. The 2nd day of the famous people adultery symposium (its a real thing) would probably focus on putting a condom on a banana (Most celebrities miss this day because 68% of all celebrity affairs end in a love child – People.com). Dan must have been busy not winning the Super Bowl during those days.
Gone are the days where Dan Marino annoyed us with how he’s a great quarterback without a ring and honestly I am going to miss those days after this snafu. There is no way Boomer Esaison makes it past week three without making a joke about this and for that we thank you Boomer.
PS – At least he banged her instead of sending pics of his baby dick like that freak New York Jet Brett Favre.
– Tommy Westside
Hell yes she is. If you don’t think so you’re out of your mind. Tommy Westside thinks she isn’t. Cementing himself in the “don’t ask your friend if you have the green light” category. Like when you’ve had a few too many beverages and you need a second opinion. Does she have a little cushion for the pushin’, maybe. Am I a loser for using the line “cushion for the pushin'” most assuredly. But Victoria (don’t care what her real name is) is a body. 😉
Charleston – A 32-year-old man was arrested Tuesday on charges that he punched at, kicked and threatened to kill the Charleston police officer who helped him after his drunken fall into a flowerpot.P owell [the police officer] asked Bonner to sit down and to wait as a taxi was called. But Bonner stood and soon fell into a nearby flowerpot, Powell wrote. As Powell helped him, Bonner threw three punches at the officer but missed, according to the report. Powell took Bonner to the ground, but Bonner kicked him, the report stated. “I will put a bullet in your head,” Bonner said, according to the report. “I will come back here and kill you. … I hate you.”
What is with it with these Bonners getting in the news all the time. Must be something in the water. Anywho check out this cop getting in the face of a drunk guy. Look, helping out a drunk/ blackout artist is never a good call. For one, he’s not going to remember it. For two, he’s gotta learn the hard way. Tough love. Why do we fall down Mr. Wayne? Regardless of what happens the next morning this guy is probably gonna swear off alcohol (pour himself a bloody), and talk about what dumb decisions he made last night. He doesn’t need some off-duty officer to remind him what an asshole he is, and get a wake up call in the drunk tank. Classic drunk guy.
OpposingViews – After being accused of taking $5 from another student in an after-school swipe, a 7-year-old Bronx boy was pulled out of his classroom and questioned for more than 10 hours. According to a $250 million claim that has been filed against the city and the NYPD, police handcuffed and held Wilson Reyes in a room at his school for four hours before taking him to the 44th Precinct station house for another six hours of interrogation and verbal abuse.
Umm did this kid lawyer-up? First rule when you go into the interrogation room, lawyer-up. Interview over. That’s street knowledge 101. You’d think at 7-years-old this kid would be all caught up on The Wire. Look, police are paid the big bucks to solve crimes. And 5 bucks is a crime. That’s 20 quarters! You know how much damage a 7-year-old could do with 20 quarters at an arcade. Time Crisis II for days. Pressing on the foot pedal. Getting the countdown after you lose, “Do You Want To Continue?” Of course I want to continue, I’m saving the world.
Yahoo – “My dad was kind of upset, but that’s like any parent who just sees bikini league,” Deiondra told Jeff Sammut of 590 The Fan in Toronto. “He thought I was gonna be out there in a bikini. He [saw] a picture of our uniform and stuff like that, so I think once he saw that we’re actually covered up a little bit, he wasn’t as concerned.” Deiondra hopes that playing in the league will put her in prime-time position for her career and for being a “positive voice.” She will play for the Atlanta Peaches. Sanders’ daughter also took a shot at the Lingerie Football League during the interview. As its name suggests, the LFL actually features women playing football in lingerie. She sees differences between the Bikini Basketball League and the Lingerie Football League beyond the wardrobe choices. “I just think that it’s a lot different because we actually do have players, real basketball players, that actually have played in the WNBA before,” Sanders said. “So I think that this will make a difference because people are really gonna see real-life hoopers. They just look good while doing it.”
First off, never thought in a million years I would agree with Deion Sanders, but this has to be the worst thing on the planet. There is nothing worse than having a slutty daughter. When Magic Johnson sold his soul to the devil for all those championships he had a choice, a slutty daughter or AIDs. Magic Johnson made the obvious choice.
Secondly, Deiondra standing up for the athletic integrity of bikini basketball makes me so sick I can’t stand it. I hate to be that guy (I really don’t), but women’s sports are unbearable. The only women’s sport I can stand is US Soccer and that’s because I love my country. I love jorts, I love American Eagles, and I love me some Mia Hamm. Watching any other women’s sport is like being forced to go to a funeral.
Listen up Deiondra, we all get it. You are lashing out because you have a severe case of daddy issues. We’re not against it, just stop wasting our time and get into porn all ready.
– Tommy Westside
BURGETTSTOWN, Pa. – Police say a western Pennsylvania man stopped at a bar and had a beer minutes after he broke out of a police station holding cell after his arrest on an assault charge. Police say they were processing Bonner and had removed his handcuffs and placed him in the cell. That’s when Bonner allegedly knocked the cell door off its hinges and ran away.
Let me ask something. Where is the first place you would go after you broke out of jail? Maybe the boarder. A safe house. Perhaps a shower, so you can re-teach yourself what it feels like to have privacy while naked. I don’t know, maybe something else. Not Mr. Bonner here. First place, the local watering hole, duh.
Here’s the thing. How many times do these prison breaks end in the guy getting caught? Like 1,000% of the time. This ain’t the movies chief. You’re not getting to Zihuatanejo to meet up with Morgan Freeman and Tim Robbins at the local tiki bar. You gotta wet your whistle before the bloodhounds get to you and rip you to shreds. Plus who’s not gonna buy this guy a beer once he tells his story about how he broke out of the clink.