Yahoo – It was with all of those factors in mind that Major League Baseball began a discussion to eliminate the “pickoff attempt” last spring. Now comes word from the New York Times’ Tyler Kepner that the change is official, and beginning this season any such attempt to fake a move toward third base will result in a balk.
I can’t stand this move by Major League Baseball. It has nothing to do with the effect it will have on the pro game, but everything to do with my trials and tribulations as a little league phenom. ((Editor’s note: Of course by phenom, he means Smalls before Benny the Jet hits a perfect fly ball to his glove and then Smalls becomes talented. (Writer’s note: How dare you sir?))
Every little league is made up of the same group of teams. The best team is made up of the team with the two best kids because their dads decided to coach together (fuck them). The the team that is so bad its almost not fun playing them because even at the age of 11 you feel terrible embarrassing them in front of their parents (just kidding of course, those kids are losers and their dads probably still don’t love them). The worst team in every league is the team that steals second with runners on first and third.
Right as the pitch is delivered the runner on second takes off towards second base. Seeing that this is house league, only one of two things can happen:
1. Catcher throws to second. The chubby kid behind home plate (why is it that the fattest kid is always the catcher?) gets more excited than Bruce eating chocolate cake in Matilda, and airmails the ball to second. Best case scenario, the ball isn’t overthrown, the runner from third scores, and the runner on second doesn’t advance to third. Worst case scenario, ball gets by the second basemen / short stop and the runner that was on first is now on third.
2. Catcher throws the ball back to the pitcher. By game two of the season every team knows Team Assclown’s go to move. With the lack of talent in house league, the coach has only one move and that is to throw the ball back to the pitcher. It is the most demoralizing move in all sports, one that makes a coach question his manhood in front of his own kid.
This play is why Major League Baseball needs to reverse this ruling. The only thing that will come from this is more of the same from Team Assclown. Also, if you were on this team or think this play is legit, there is no way you didn’t turn out to be a choch.
– Tommy Westside