I’m a silver linings kind of a guy. That’s probably why everyone calls me Bradley Cooper. So, while everyone is depressed that the NFL season is over, moping around in their Super Bowl hangover, I’m here to look at the bright side of things. The NFL season being over means less of these ESPN drones:
I CANNOT stand Herm. Dude just yells and screams and wears terrible socks. Every anchor acts (or at least pretends) like he’s the funniest guy on the set. “Oh Herm, you such a savvy motivator, you’re amazing!” Wouldn’t be surprised if the anchors pooled their money to get Schefty to put out a rumor that Herm was looking to get back into the coaching game.
Ron Jaworski is the most over the top, spit-while-he-talks, spazz of the bunch. I mean, they’re all totally unself-aware of how annoying they are, but Jaws takes the cake. He actually thinks he’s doing it all right. Probably finishes each segment and just thinks to himself, “Yep, nailed it.”
Based solely on his ties alone. I actually don’t mind his opinions, they aren’t terrible. But seriously, dude, get rid of the fist sized ties. They were hot for maybe a second like 5 years ago.
The Entire NFL Countdown Crew (Minus Tom Jackson)
Berman, Ditka, Keyshawn, and Cris are just terrible. If I could imagine torture it would be being strapped to chair and being forced to watching these characters. Berman just huffing and puffing, talking about god knows what. Ditka just trying to keep up with everyone else. Keyshawn talking about high fashion and how he never lived up to his potential. And Carter, oh Cris Carter. Look I wasn’t always such a cynical asshole. I grew up idolizing Cris Carter. Doing his classic touchdown pose with one knee down pointing the the sky. Guy was legend. I even got his autograph. But now that he’s on NFL Countdown I hate his guts. I mean just look at these brutal clips.
Nice pass Keyshawn.
Carter have some self respect.