Yahoo – On this Valentine’s Day, it’s date night at the White House. And, apparently, President and Mrs. Obama aren’t the only ones in the family with a special sweetheart. On a stop here to push his education agenda, President Obama hinted that one of his daughters – likely the eldest, 14-year-old Malia – is officially dating.
Before everyone freaks out, I know she’s 14 and I would have to be pretty sick to be interested in Malia Obama, today. Yes today that would be pretty fucked up. I am just here to lie out some of my good qualities and dreams so that in four years if she’s interested, I’m here babe and ready to take you to one of the United State’s 871 TGI Friday’s locations.
First things first, yes I am a hard body. Five feet twelve inches of chiseled rock. Physically, I have been favorably compared to NFL kickers Sebastian Janikowski and Todd Sauerbrun. Secondly, while I am currently an unemployed blogger I have dreams to go places in my future. In a few years I could be a junior salesmen at a failing paper supply company or a manager at your local Dominos. Who knows? The sky is the limit. Lastly, I’m a great listener. To quote Dave Rose, “I love hearing who sat next to who at yoga.” So while things are bit slow for me now Malia, in the future everything will be coming up Westside.